Monday, March 31, 2008

Breathing Out

For me, sitting still is a learned response. Something in my DNA made me super energetic and nothing seems to slow me down! Except the fact that I'm about 4 weeks away from having my second child. And this slowing down is not by choice either. My body has literally rebelled by becoming a shape not conducive to quick movement ... and as Jane Austen would put it, I.am.finally."confined".

Yesterday, I handed over all my work in preparation for my long hiatus from the big rat race.

Today, I'm gnawing at my nails wondering what I'm going to do next. Five business ideas have already presented themselves to me on a gold salver as it were and one has already taken root in my mind as THE thing to do while I'm waiting for my little one to be born.

I may just be a lost cause. "Sheesh" I'm thinking. So is my husband and my son aged 4, who can't articulate as well but has been eyeing this new cat-on-hot-bricks mother quite warily all morning.

If its not the office then its things I can always find to do at home - dust, shift, maybe the centre table looks better at an angle sort of things. And did I mention the number of activities I usually find for my little boy to participate in? Well I do. He's had quite enough of this methinks. When he sees me coming, he's taken to saying ... "I velly tired now" "Ok?". Ok.

This afternoon, I took a few deep breaths, got my well meaning husband to work from home in the afternoon, left the son in his care (complete with a list of activities which something tells me were not even attempted), and got a friend to take me on that looong drive to the lovely Madinat Souk in Dubai.

We met a third friend there to belatedly celebrate her birthday over a simple Italian lunch at a restaurant called Toscana.

Our dear friend was touched at the gesture, we went to a new place after ever so long, we went as individuals and not as wives, mothers etc, didn't care whether the quaint abra rides were child friendly or the food too spicy to suit little palates. The conversation was stimulating, wide ranging and generally suited to adult cerebral stimulation.

The weather held up as well. It was just perfectly toasted for us to sit at an outdoor table drinking sparkling water with lots of ice and watching the world go by in the little Arabic boats while we chatted and people watched. Rounded up the divine meal of portobello mushrooms, some simple white sauce pasta and panna cotta with home made ice cream. Shared all our food and didn't worry about which of it was healthy.

It really is all in the mind. Once I decided I wasn't indispensable, it turned out that heck I actually wasn't! Also this news flash ... I am my own worst critic. I can actually do something just for myself.

Decided to ride the liberating wave and went to a saloon run by men - a first for me, and got my hair snipped in a smart, new cut for a little extra money and somehow didn't worry that it didn't fit 'the budget' that I usually allow myself at the neighbourhood parlor for hair cuts.

Got home and found that the world had continued to function. My son looked like he had done something decadent while I was away and enjoyed every minute of it, and my husband had that guilty look I usually associate with him having not listened to a single direction I had given him. A few calls to office elicited the knowledge that no, I hadn't been missed. My house help had done what she usually does and done it well without me having breathed down her neck.

I sat down, put my feet up quite literally and for the first time in as long as I can remember, asked for someone else to make me a cup of tea. Sipped it and decided that so much well being had to be shared with my blogger pals. And so, here I am.

I could get addicted to this. I could find that I have more time than I realise I do. I could even find that there is no excuse not to get involved in all the causes dear to my heart. In fact, tomorrow, I'm going to register with a few of the animal charities that I can now spend some time with. These places need newsletters written and its something i can do while I'm er still confined. Hmmm ... and then i could pay some bills online, and re-work that budget ... hmmm ... and that centre table there - didn't it look better straight? and where is that instruction book on how to make craft toys for kids? ... Hmmm ...

17 comments:

Keshi said...

I wish I cud ask someone else to make me a cuppa :(

Keshi.

Vidya said...

the Japanese do know a thing or two... kids are amused for hours with pieces of paper and do origami for hours at a stretch!
leave guilt trips alone.. kids are professional at thse things... adn you are never going to win. so sit back and enjoy the pranks throw the occassional tantrum and peace again

PREETI said...

im gushin at the thought of ur baby-to-come! do post picz...!

n rreallyy..njoy ur time out...relax n all...u need it!

Thinking aloud said...

sounded like a dreamy day...and this is one addiction that's gonna be worth it just for that feeling of well being and sated feeling...

i remember doing this when i joined salsa class..every week...left te kids in hubby's care while i stepped on toes...hmmm ...shd try it again...:)

now where can i spot the chic, you? :)

Joy said...

Enjoy the time, get pampered and relax. It's always good to get a breather once in a while... :)

G U R U said...

Loved the line -- "For me, sitting still is a learned response" -- for that matter, the entire post -- since I can relate to it at different levels; For instance, if you're going to mother your second child, am gonna father my first baby :)

I understand what it is like...nice post, well written..

Madhumita. said...

Keshi : Hi :)

V : Yes, I know. But still guilt trip ... :D

Preeti : How is your sister?

Suma : Hair has already reverted to its usual mussed state. Sigh ...

Joy : Tx, I will.

Guru : Congrats :). When is the big event and how is the mother to be? Enjoyed your post yesterday as well.

Thinking aloud said...

awww... that pic just make sme go awww...

r looks like he's thinking...mamma is all mine....but for how long?

Ziah said...

hey sweets! 4 weeks? wow!!:)
Let. go. madhu!!!:) till the baby arrives:) ok?:) you need some rest... u might as well rest when everyone's ready to fall all over you!!!

PREETI said...

my sis...dont askk...tat time of the month n she now knows she isnt preggy...shez bak to bein :( n to escape it shez at my place now :(

Gazal said...

that time spent wid buddies,just being you and yourself....i completly agree....

you deserve the lunch,the haircut,the rest,the cuppa and the confinement!!!!

beautifully written !!!

Anonymous said...

Hi,
I'm Amrith. I bloghopped on your site through Rajk because i was intrigued by the name. You write very well and i have enjoyed your posts. I too, am a mother of a 4 year old boy and i find my self in a similar situation like you. Good luck with your second baby and Happy Confinement!!
AR.

Ps said...

Hey--all the very best with your second baby.Your evening with friends sounds great! I'm sure it was.

If it's of any comfort, this happens only to active,energetic people.I'm just like you (always HAVE to be doing something) and for both my preganancies was on bed rest..Had to lie and do nothing.(Of course I read)

Madhumita. said...

Hi Ziah : Am doing some mind tinkering :). Me and the little one hope it works!

Gazal : Isn't it great to do something just for ourselves sometimes?

Hi Amrith : Nice to see you here and you have a pretty unusual name yourself. Tx for your wishes :)

Preethi : Did you have difficult pregnancies? Bed rest you said ...

Madhumita. said...

Hey Suma! Just saw your comment on the photo ... funny you should say that about him because thats actually how I feel about myself. They do grow up so fast.

Prats said...

Time to chill out....all ready?
Just sit back , put up your feet, chill....you'll need it more now.
Love this picture with R....somehow, feels so "I miss those days kinds'

Suma said...

i know!! u telling me? the young one is officially no longer a baby...he's now in class 1..and he looks so grown up...sob...snifff...*where's that tissue?


Thats Me! Says V from Jap Talk :-)