Self indulgently speaking

Well I'm back to blogging after what feels like an entire era has passed by. But not really, its only been something like five months since life as I know it disappeared into a far removed dimension. And I use the term 'I' loosely. The sun rises and sets and in a unique twist my days are spent without a single moment or thought to spare for myself. I know my home inside out, the shape of things, nooks and crannies, the titles of books jostling for space on my shelves, each item of my childrens' clothing, the exact number of black t-shirts my husband owns (and seldom wears), all the dals, spices and macaroni packets in the kitchen, the changing colours of the walls with the setting of the sun, the everyday traffic sounds outside my bathroom window. And no time to look inside. I always did come upon important events in my life without the slightest suspicion that they were going to happen to me. To other people, yes. But not to me. I call it the ivory tower syndrome - and I'm stuck inside one even now. So busy making choices - forgetting to see which part matters.

But its all good. My daughter is one year old today, my son is growing up (and ever so slightly out of reach), my marriage is as all marriages are, parents, sister, in-laws, well meaning friends, all check out on the list of things that keep us content. And I'm deeply attached, sometimes more than I care to be. Now if I can only find that elusive something that never becomes more than a distant idea in the most personal corner of my mind.

But right now, I'm excited about going out into cyber world and catching up on some brilliant, sensitive, funny and insightful posts. Hope today is great for all of you and especially my little daughter. Happy birthday Rhea! - may the music never stop.