Monday, July 12, 2010

Learning on the job

So mom always said that I would begin to understand her better when I became a mother myself. And the father always wondered why we persisted in making the same mistakes he forewarned us about. As annoying as cliches are, they make the point don't they? As predicted I now have an insight into what made my parents say and do the things they did.

Harsh parent fact for the day is this: Your children are not your children. I mean you can cling to the fact that as a parent you have complete ownership of your offspring ... but that would just be self serving. Every relationship that they inherit - grandparents, cousins, random friends et al have a claim on who they grow up to be.

Coming back to what my parents said. I have a glimpse of the big and small heart breaks that have started coming at me already. But being wise beyond my years (seriously ... ), I'm learning to back off and be that bedrock that they can always bank on no matter what. You will be side tracked, stepped upon and sometimes completely ignored by your children. Thats fine. No really it is. But the umbilical cord though disposed off (or salted away for the stem cell thing) at birth is always in place. No matter how far and where they wander, it will lead them right back across time and space when it is most needed.

Did I mention that my kids are 6 and 2 years old respectively? Sigh ... and we're not even in the ball park of the teen thing yet.

So ... does all this realization mean that I will stop being a nag? Uh - well lets not hope for miracles just yet shall we?

6 comments:

Mohammed Musthafa said...

Well, good luck for the teen years. Thats when things will get really crazy right? Still, its great that you're trying to be as understanding as possible. I always wondered, do parents forget how it was when they were young?

love and squalor said...

the perpetual umbilical cord thing both amazes and terrifies me.

Diamond and Pearl said...

Madhu,

You haven't written in a while! Can I please have your email ID? you can email me ritulogan@yahoo.com.

you've been to my blog

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