In my imagination I can gyrate and glide across dance floors like a nimble nymph ... or like Uma Thurman from pulp fiction depending on my frame of mind. But of course I take care not to actually let this happen. I mean a mother of two has a certain protocol to follow and an image to maintain - I've had my son point at me and roll on the floor laughing when I've tried to show him a dance move or two. Its still tender where it hurt!
But seriously, I used to be a proper little twinkle toes and I've got all sorts of trophies from my days in JNC and Bishop Cotton's to prove this. But life and bitter experience has taught me that its not ok to you know - well dance any which way you like. You get looked at. Askance. And with good cause I'm sure. I bet that move I have where I wriggle my shoulders and move my head from side to side looks hip only in my head. On any given dance floor this is the part where I feel a cold draft of air in the place people used to be. These said people can be found on the outer periphery of the said floor doing the askance thing at me. So being quick on the uptake, I've got the message. All the dancing you'll see me do these days is a discreet tap of the right foot with a gentle swish of the hips about 5 degrees to either side of my body. It makes me look contained and dignified.
But I miss it. How the music flows around me and lifts me up and gives me all the grace I can possibly need - as long as I am alone in my house and locked inside my bedroom. When I dance I'm the very embodiment of it. Its transforming. Not in an aliens movie kind of way or anything ... well I'm sure you'll know what I mean.
Ask me if I'm happy? and I'll say just dance if you can.